The Cleaning Lady Dilemma…

Please, God, let me have a cleaning lady again…

Because, really, I HATE to clean. Not that I haven’t been doing it all my life…

But luxury, for me, is a cleaning lady (person) twice a month!

Back when I had a corporate job, a 4 BR house and was on my own, I DID have a cleaning lady. She was AWESOME. She would notice things I never looked at and took care of them pronto.

I would come home and the house was sparkling – straight out of Leave-It-To-Beaver-Land.cleaning lady

I would inhale the scent of pine-sol and float around my abode like a fairy sniffing magic dust.

That evening I would slide into my newly made bed, smelling the fresh sheets and drifting off to dream-ville knowing that anyone could knock on my door and I would say, “why, come on in!”

Now… I live in a 1BR apt. It doesn’t need a cleaning lady. I would be remiss to spend my meager retirement income on such a luxury. But oh how I want to!

Today, for instance, I got out my new “steam mop” to clean the floors. I had already swept and wanted to finish off the process. But the sprayer thing didn’t spray. I tried and tried. No spray.

So I clicked the cleaner bottle out of its holder and it was empty. Oh… OK!
I went to the pantry and got a new bottle. BUT… it needed the lid off the old bottle to fit into the slot on the mop handle. Okey Dokey.

Ahem…

I could not, for the life of me, get the lid off the old bottle to put it on the new bottle.

And believe me, I tried. First with tapping… then pounding… the old bottle on the counter. Hmmmm.

Next I got a butter knife and tried to pry the lid off.

Then I pounded some more and pried some more. I got out the pliers.

Still, the lid wouldn’t budge. So I got out my old Ginsu Knife from the 80s – it will cut through anything!

After sawing off the lid from the empty container, I still couldn’t put it on the new bottle.

Back to the butter knife and pliers. No luck.

Half an hour later I was seriously considering taking said lid out to the driveway and running it over with the car a few times. But I knew that wouldn’t work.

So I stood back and looked at the mess I had created. My arms were aching and the expensive mop was sitting idly by in the corner. But I would not be beaten…

I took the new bottle of cleaning liquid and poured a small amount out onto the floor. I then ran the mop over it to accomplish the cleaning. Voila – mission accomplished.

Now that is NOT how that pricey mop is to be used! And I still don’t know what the answer is. All I know is I desperately need a cleaning lady!
Please, God, let me have a cleaning lady in my itty bitty apartment! Please, please, please!!!

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Since 1996 Divorce Magazine has been the Internet's leading website on divorce and separation. We provide advice about divorce law, divorce lawyers, family law, custody, support and other divorce related issues along with a directory of divorce professionals.

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