Please, God, let me have a cleaning lady again…
Because, really, I HATE to clean. Not that I haven’t been doing it all my life…
But luxury, for me, is a cleaning lady (person) twice a month!
Back when I had a corporate job, a 4 BR house and was on my own, I DID have a cleaning lady. She was AWESOME. She would notice things I never looked at and took care of them pronto.
I would come home and the house was sparkling – straight out of Leave-It-To-Beaver-Land.
I would inhale the scent of pine-sol and float around my abode like a fairy sniffing magic dust.
That evening I would slide into my newly made bed, smelling the fresh sheets and drifting off to dream-ville knowing that anyone could knock on my door and I would say, “why, come on in!”
Now… I live in a 1BR apt. It doesn’t need a cleaning lady. I would be remiss to spend my meager retirement income on such a luxury. But oh how I want to!
Today, for instance, I got out my new “steam mop” to clean the floors. I had already swept and wanted to finish off the process. But the sprayer thing didn’t spray. I tried and tried. No spray.
So I clicked the cleaner bottle out of its holder and it was empty. Oh… OK!
I went to the pantry and got a new bottle. BUT… it needed the lid off the old bottle to fit into the slot on the mop handle. Okey Dokey.
Ahem…
I could not, for the life of me, get the lid off the old bottle to put it on the new bottle.
And believe me, I tried. First with tapping… then pounding… the old bottle on the counter. Hmmmm.
Next I got a butter knife and tried to pry the lid off.
Then I pounded some more and pried some more. I got out the pliers.
Still, the lid wouldn’t budge. So I got out my old Ginsu Knife from the 80s – it will cut through anything!
After sawing off the lid from the empty container, I still couldn’t put it on the new bottle.
Back to the butter knife and pliers. No luck.
Half an hour later I was seriously considering taking said lid out to the driveway and running it over with the car a few times. But I knew that wouldn’t work.
So I stood back and looked at the mess I had created. My arms were aching and the expensive mop was sitting idly by in the corner. But I would not be beaten…
I took the new bottle of cleaning liquid and poured a small amount out onto the floor. I then ran the mop over it to accomplish the cleaning. Voila – mission accomplished.
Now that is NOT how that pricey mop is to be used! And I still don’t know what the answer is. All I know is I desperately need a cleaning lady!
Please, God, let me have a cleaning lady in my itty bitty apartment! Please, please, please!!!
